We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
