He kissed a someone with a penis
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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