i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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