I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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