nut hugger
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
