Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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