Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
