He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
