Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
As shirtless as possible
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
