so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
