So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
