these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
