How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
