My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
