I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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