Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
