you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
