Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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