Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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