ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
