new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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