Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
