When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
