areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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