i think i have herpe
just one?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize