I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
