is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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