I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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