im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You're earring is so big in my mouth
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
