I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
