Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
