Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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