So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
