It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
