Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
