He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
