we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
