no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Couch. On fire.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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