your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just tell him i said nine months
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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