flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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