The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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