This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
