Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
