forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I love you.
Bad choice
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
