So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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