i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
