he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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