He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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