i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
