I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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