I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
