yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize