it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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