My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
