it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
