Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
