i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
