Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
