But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
