sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
