I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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