i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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