the day after is always just damage control
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize