Where is the hickey?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
