I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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