Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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