Where is the hickey?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
