Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
