she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
