I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
