The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize