My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
