JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
