Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
